1. The future of Slavic men’s cologne in one photo
We must admit, Slavs have a very particular appetite when it comes to food: Pickled herring, cheese curds, and an excess of mayonnaise are, well, a unique approach to haute cuisine. As long as it’s fermented, pickled, or scavenged from a neighboring forest, your ingredients will be perfect for a Slavic meal.
Even snack giants like Lays have caught on: Only in CIS countries will you find “mushroom and sour cream" crisps and sunflower seed stuffed snickers.
2. What’s stranger than a mayonnaise-sausage-potato salad? A mayonnaise-sausage-potato dressing.
Arkhangelsk city administration
To celebrate the unique Russian sense of taste, online chat groups have compiled food memes that outline the often bizarre nature of Russian food.
Often, these memes feature real life events, like the infamous Salad Olivier costume from an Arkhangelsk children’s play. In other cases, they offer absurd new products for Slavic food, like borscht cologne. Here are Slavic food memes featuring the staples of a good Russian meal:
Kompot
Why drink kiwi-infused water when you can make kompot, the classic homemade drink for every Russian meal? All you need to do is put fruit in boiling water.
3. Once kompot cools, you’ll have a rich concoction that beats any store-bought juice in the West.
4. Nevertheless, the most important ingredient to a successful jar of kompot is, you guessed it, a babushka to make it.
Pickles
Given the Slavic obsession for everything smelly and preserved, it’s no surprise pickles are one of the greatest staples of Slavic cuisine. Pickles are especially popular as a zakuska: The holy grail of Russian snacks that go along with a shot of vodka.
Recent memes have become particularly inventive with the future for Russian pickle consumption.
5. Take a dispensary system, that provides you with pickles and vintage Soviet vodka all in one.
6. Or a new brand of Snickers:
7. A new flavor for a refreshing summer popsicle:
8. A new brand of McDonald's meal:
Sausages
9. Russians also have a particular penchant for cured sausages (kolbasa). Like pickles, a good slice of sausage is the perfect zakuska.
The most legendary Russian sausage in the doctor’s kolbasa, a fat, pinkish chunk of processed meat of dubious provenance. Popularized under the Soviet Union as a low-cost source of protein, this sausage continues to be a source of nostalgia. Often, it is used in a sandwich, known in Russian as buterbrod.
The current meme community, however, has invented new interpretations for this classic Slavic dish.
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12. Some Russians are so enthusiastic about doctor’s kolbasa they’ve even requested it for their birthday.
13. The Slavic love of meat, however, is not limited to sausages. Shish kababs, grilled on a backyard mangal, or grill, are the ticket to any Slavic woman’s heart.
14. Or even better: Holodets, frozen meat jelly.
Semechki
Forget sausages, pickles and kompot. If you truly want to get to the essence of Slavic life: it is semechki (sunflower seeds). Whether you’re meditating, hanging out with friends, or watching TV, semechki are vital.
From a young age, every child is taught to methodically pop open the shell with their two front teeth to extract the seed inside in an action defined as shelkat’.
15. Trust us, it is very addictive.
16. So, who needs popcorn when you can have semechki?
What can we learn from Slavic food memes?
Yes, they sure are absurd. But behind all the silliness, Slavic food memes shine a light on a unique cuisine that not a lot of people know about. It’s unlikely you’ll find holodets, semechki, or kompot in your local grocery store. And yet, these local favorites can turn out to be quite appetizing.
17. Spend enough time in Russia, and you’ll become like this cat: Desperate for Olivier-stuffed blinis with kompot:
Read more: Welcome to the dark, dank world of Russian memes – now in English