How this American woman found her own ‘Sesame Street’ in Russia 

Laura was born in California and loved her California childhood: lots of neighbors, lots of socializing. When she was 10, her parents moved to South Carolina, where life was like a lonely forest, almost completely isolated. And she wanted to live like on the ‘Sesame Street’ TV show, with a fun crowd on the same street, friendship and a sense of security. 

And, years later, in the southern Russian city of Krasnodar, she found her “Sesame Street” in the yard of her own home. “We celebrate holidays together and, if the water is turned off, we go to argue together. I didn’t have that feeling even in California when I was a kid. And I love it,” Laura says.

Why Russia?

Almost a century ago, Laura’s ancestors moved to the United States from Germany and, even as a child, she dreamed of returning to her historic homeland. But, suddenly, she realized she wanted to go to… Russia.

“I graduated from college, worked as a graphic designer… And, suddenly, I decided that that was it! The time had come - I needed to go! Russia was like an enigma. A country with a mystery,” Laura recalls. In school in the U.S., she had heard that the USSR was the enemy and she wondered what was so scary about it. “I didn’t believe it and I wanted to know the mystery of Russia.”

Laura warmly recalls how relations between Russia and the U.S. improved in the 1990s, how there was hope for common development, albeit competition, but friendship. “It was a wonderful time and, today, my heart breaks when I see what’s going on. To me, America is like a mother and Russia is a father. I’m experiencing all of this as my own personal grief.”

First impressions & the Russian soul

Laura came to Krasnodar 13 years ago. “It was summer, we drove through fields, past farms. I remember a big ravine with water, along the bank every 50 meters there were signs saying: ‘No swimming!’ And there were people swimming under each sign. Not between the signs, but just under them. And that was my first suspicion that there it was, the Russian soul.”

She immediately noted that people in Russia are always in a hurry and running - for buses, for store openings… She herself claims that, in 13 years, she hasn’t started running like everyone else: “I calmly walk and they open the door for me.”

Life in Russia isn’t easy and people are used to it and always mentally prepared for even a worse-case scenario. “What is it again? Come on! Come on, come on! Bring more problems here! I’m going to live relaxed anyway!” This is the Russian soul, which many people don’t understand, she believes.

Russian husband & kids

Laura met her future husband, rock musician Victor, at a rock party in a club. They married in 2014. “My husband had a concert at the club that night, so we just decided to make it our wedding party.”

Laura says American men are more emotional. They can cry and not look weaker because of it. “Russian men are brutal, but if they get emotional, they either swear or booze. That’s a problem, crying would be better for your health.”

Laura gave birth to her two sons in a regular Krasnodar hospital - and for free. “In America, I would have paid ten thousand dollars and been in a five-star room. But why? I need a healthy baby and that’s it.”

Laura recalls that the doctors were kind and attentive to her and the women in her room said that was because she was an American. “But, I guess not. I was just willing to listen to them, to respect their knowledge.”

Sons Alexander and Daniil speak two languages fluently: English at home and Russian at school and in the yard.

Feminism & Russian women

In Russia, the smiling American beauty is usually compared to Marilyn Monroe and often gets compliments. In the U.S., this would have long been perceived as harassment, but Laura says that in Russia the problem is not as acute. “For a woman here, it is normal to wear tight pants to work that accentuate her figure. It is considered to show off her beauty. In America, such pants would be perceived as a signal, a self-advertisement.”

At the same time, Laura identifies another problem - in her opinion, many Russian women often feel like slaves at home. For example, mothers of small kids are usually categorical and believe that they need to endlessly cook for their kids and only “healthy” food, be sure to make dumplings themselves and certainly cook soup. “They think that anything made quickly is of poor quality and children should not be fed that way. You have to cook in a way that hurts!”

Laura wasn’t used to that; it was more important to her that the children eat a variety of food, not just the hated soup and that it didn’t take up a lot of their mother’s time. In addition, she works five days a week as an English tutor, teaching seven classes a day. “So I don’t have time for homemade dumplings,” she laughs.

She complains that, in Russia, many people misunderstand feminism and think it is misogynistic, but it is all about the same rights, opportunities and salaries. 

A calling to do good things

In addition to her work as a tutor, Laura volunteers at her children’s school. She says her main goal in life is to help people. “I have a very fortunate fate, after all, so I want to give thanks and give back.”

At first, she didn’t want to join the school parent committee. “I thought: I’m a stupid American, I don’t know anything here, I don’t speak Russian very well. But, during the meetings, when I saw that people couldn’t agree, I realized that I was needed here.”

In the U.S., she used to work in communications, so dealing with difficult issues in a peaceful way she says is her calling. “And I started going to meetings and saying: I care about your opinion and yours, too, but let’s try to do this? Our vocabulary began to change, the environment wasn’t as toxic anymore. And the kids started to become friends.”

New habits

Sometimes, Laura is told that she is already more Russian than American. She’s also used to the traditional annual summertime hot water outage in Russia. “Of course, it’s inconvenient, but bathing the children in the bathtub, watering them, like when I was a kid, I like it, it’s very touching.”

She also fell in love with Russian cuisine and learned how to cook borsch, solyanka and plov. She loves ‘herring under a fur coat’ salad and simply adores okroshka (she calls it a “wet salad”).

And yet, she believes that she remains American - trusting, emotional, open, “loud”. True, she has already stopped thinking too much ahead and has begun to repeat the Russian mantra: “Everything will be fine” (Vse budget khorosho). “This is such magic, it’s easier to live with. In this, yes, I’m already like the Russians.”

Russians

Laura thinks Russians are strong, careful and smart. “We have this expression: “street smarts”. It’s a wisdom that one can’t learn at school. Russians understand very quickly who is in front of them, what to expect from a person. It’s hard to fool them, while it’s easy to fool Americans.” 

At the same time, in her opinion, Russians are closed-minded and cautious and they always expect a catch. That is why Laura is the first to make contact and speaks to everyone with a smile. She asks one neighbor about his health, another asks when his wife is going to give birth.

“Sometimes people think I’m weird or stupid, but, 98% of the time, I see a positive result: I help someone, they help someone else. And then the good will come back to me again. And, in Russia, where people are very wary, live hard, in difficult conditions, this transfer of goodness is very necessary, it supports us all.”

And people on her Krasnodar “Sesame Street” do indeed react to the loud smiling American with warmth and without wariness at all. And they themselves turn to her with questions or for help. “See, the chain of goodness works!” Laura rejoices.

This interview was conducted for ‘Natsiya’ magazine’s ‘From Russia with Love’ project. The original version published in Russian was modified by Russia Beyond. You can read the original here.

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